When Everything's On The Line
by wolfcries
Summary: I feel nothing. I just take orders; yes... It's to live or die in the life of duty. No! I can't shake this any longer; break free; be human... a weapon cannot be human. A weapon cannot feel; nor can it lose. But... I have lost. I've lost many things.
1. Chapter 1

Darkness... the sweet consumption creates the bounds of my toleration. But; my toleration knows no bounds, not for humans... not for emotions; not even for life. Life... my meaning of this word is not like any other; to me... it is nothing. I'm sure at one point in my life I had something... but now I'm an empty shell of a man; nothing but a weapon to whom those monsters can manipulate.

Take orders... Live or die in the life of duty.

Emotion... It is the sensation which I can no longer feel. Anger, happiness, sadness, fear... love? Had I ever felt these feelings? Have I even seen them? They're questions with no answers, on which I can't comprehend... What is this I feel?

I feel nothing. I just take orders; yes... It's to live or die in the life of duty.

I can't shake this any longer; break free... be human. No... a weapon cannot be human. A weapon cannot feel; nor can it lose.

But... I have lost. I've lost many, many things.

To live or die in the life of duty....

Five years ago I had chosen to live the life of emotions. Now, I've been condemned to die in the line of military; with a life in which I cannot remember....

* * *

The black consumes him; engulfing him like the venom that has slowly begun to bleed into his heart. Blue eyes flash in the reflecting light as blonde strands fall from his eyes. An un-humorous laugh bubbles from his throat as a gloved hand rakes through his hair.

How idiotic... It was a simple job; Head of military. Create order... destroy the enemy; the outlanders and rebels who refused the line of military. There was so little left of them and they had only one leader, surely it wasn't a difficult task...

A fist chafed his scalp and ratted in his hair.

But, Why? Why did it have to be him that lead them?!

"The subject has been working as proclaimed, Sir. Everything is going as planned." A man stood with one hand behind his perfectly straight back; looking completely professional towards the other man. A mess of dirty-blond hair and soft sea green eyes... "Alfred... please. You need to leave this room..."

Alfred let his hand slip from his hair as his body fell back against the stiff wall behind him. All he had wanted was quiet... and some order in this world. Hate lingered into his eyes and his fist clenched; _fucking rebellions_. "The subject..." His eyes darted over to the other man. "Has he been brought out for testing yet?"

The other man watched silently for a while before looking away. "No, Sir. The Governor suggested we wait for your command..."

"Good... Then come; let us test this new technology." With a hefty push Alfred came off the wall and shuffled next to the other man.

"Alfred... please; about your-"

"That's enough Arthur," For a moment they stood shoulder to shoulder... back to back; the height difference compelling the silence to last longer and for the pained gazes to been shown unseen. Slowly blue eyes turned to look sadly back at green. "He is no longer our concern..." A masked smile slowly played at his lips as he retuned his gaze forward. "Now, come we have a military to run."

The silence edged on as the soles of Alfred's shoes began to click down the hallway; showing no care for the other man who did not follow behind him.

"Fuck sakes; you cannot run from this, Alfred!" Arthur's body whipped around to glare its hatred at Alfred. Even with his lung's puffing with heat and his stomach burning with guilt... it was the sadness that captured his eyes. "You cannot just shoot every thing down... kill everything off and just expect it all just to fucking disappear. It doesn't work like that... you can't make life follow your every rule."

A twilight shadowed over Alfred's expression; he knew very well what was happening... Yeah, he was fucking right in the end. Everything was falling apart at their feet; Alfred didn't need someone to scream the obvious at him. Nor did he need talk of that damn traitor in his midst. Did Arthur really thing he couldn't take order here? Even when it was he who defeated Arthur himself? When it was he who took up all the broken pieces of this dying world and created order out of chaos?

Now Arthur believes he cannot change fate?

Amusement challenged his eyes as he turned back to look at the man standing in his door frame.

"Just watch me."

Arthur watched as Alfred walked away; watched as the hatred consumed him. Alfred only ever had two people in his life to turn to; Arthur being one... and the other.

Well the other, at the moment... was the cause of all the militaries problems.

He had left them after the military began to control the government and the world began to drive itself into the ground. That man had left taking anyone who hated the idea with him. They started out in a large number; but the people were being rounded up and kept as prisoner and slaves because of their treason. The others were all killed off. There are only five or six that they still know about left. One of them being the man who had left them and took the position as their leader...

He had always been like that... trying to save lives for what he believed was the better.

"How can you expect me to sit by and watch?!"

Teeth slowly began to clench down on pale lips as his back hit the edge of the door frame.

"Your condemning these people to death! Military playing government..."

His hand shuffled onto the back of his neck, letting that last puff of air go. He was almost afraid to... what if it was to be his last? Like it had been for so many others...

"God, who are you trying to kid Arthur?"

His emerald green eyes fell to the wall of the white hallways around him. There was no sanctuary here; just death... everything that man said to Alfred and himself became something true. "Myself..." A fisted hand came full force to slam against the wall beside him.

What was he doing? all this time... He knew, but believed it too, was for the better good. He believed in Alfred... but Arthur knew the moment that man had left them, Alfred, had let his anger control him. "Ah, fuck... I've been trying to convince myself..."

"You've been trying convince yourself for the last six years Arthur..."

Slowly Arthur's eyes shifted towards the voice. It was easy to see who it was; Kiku Honda. Specialist in unimaginable weapon engineering; the current head of the project they've been working on for five years. He was a very quiet man; never really had much to say unless asked by a higher head for it. Arthur's anger boiled at the idea. The project was a disturbance of humanity.... just what the human race could do to itself; it was sickening.

Had this been the protection he sought for the world in the military?

"The project is being tested; Alfred has asked for your presence." His black eyes never changed... Arthur wondered just what it was that made him continue the work on his projects.

A slight nod came as his response and Arthur made his way towards the Japanese engineer.

"What was his name?"

Husked green eyes turned to gaze at the man walking next to him; but he saw no response to his question.

"The man... before he became our subject of new weaponry five years ago; what was his name?" The Asian's black eyes slowly turned to gaze at the European next to him before facing back to their route. The silence stretched longer before a response was given.

"Gilbert... his given name was Gilbert Weilschmidt."

* * *

_A.n:_

_This is my first APH story :)_

_I making it on request off my BFF :P haha_

_hope you all like it ^^_

_Till next time _

_Bye byeZ_


	2. Chapter 2

There is swishing sound all around me, thumping down on the wet moss floors and flashing lights that blows up in the skies presence. My skin feels slick... What is this sensation? It is almost... refreshing. It's damp... it's dark.

That strange light booms around me again; it sounds defining to the ears.

My feet begin to move, yet... I'm not sure where I'm going, but I am. My feet hit the dirt floor with hast, pushing me as far and fast as they could to my unknown destination. Where ever it is... all I know is that I have to get there; I have to! It burns, it hurts and my chest feels tight with the need to find this area that I don't know of. My throat is starting to burn and this wetness is starting to run down my face, but it is different from the other wetness... this one seems salted. Strange...

My body is slowing before I find myself stopped in front of a small house. Is this where I wanted to be? Is this my... now why is it i don't know this word? I think I did once... I think this place once meant something to me. Even if it did... it no longer seems like I wish to be there; just seeing it makes my body tremble. I still walk towards the door... I still open it...

But I don't like it. I hate this burning within my body.

I see something... a red water staining the wooden floors. Oh yes, I now know this sensation... This numbness. There's something else I don't understand, I had left the wetness outside... so why was there still that other wetness of my face? It runs down my cheeks and stings my eyes.

I looks around and I find a woman's lifeless face staring blankly at me. It hurts again. I don't like this emptiness I have inside.

I know her... yet I don't. Why? I know this feeling... so why don't I understand?

The Thunder... the name of my bright flashing light; it roars louder as men sound me. They have guns. Weapons that are different from me. I know about guns... I think I used to use them a lot on people like this woman. There's one man who stands out, he's drench with blood and before I know it, I find myself on my knees before him. There's a hole in my shoulder that seems to leak a red ooze, like the copper liquids on the floor.

His face seems empty and his gaze is uncaring. I know this. I know what he doesn't feel, for I can't feel it either. He's been changed, not in the same sense I have but he knows far more than I. He is an expert in what he's about to do.

His gun touches my head.

Yes, I know this feeling. He's a weapon... Like me.

_A.N - Okay guys sorry it took son long :P_

_Im afriad this is just a old chapter I looked over and fixed up as much as I could. _

_BUT dont worry!_

_a new chapter will be here within the week. Till then! R&R_

* * *

As Arthur entered the room it seemed like all hell broke loose. The glass to the experiment room was smashed open and blood splattered the walling around him. There was a woman huddled in the corner crying as the blood slid down her broken skin. Men were running in all directions, grabbing guns with tranquilising darts and anything else they could use as defence. The dead bodies that littered the floor where torn and snapped; ripped in ways that they shouldn't be.

Horror filled his eyes. Just what have they created?

Arthur watched as the killer began to throw anyone who came near him around like rag dolls, or he'd rip limbs off. His heart clenched. His eyes where almost lifeless looking... in all their red tinge; but it wasn't the color that was alarming him, but the tears that ran from their empty gaze.

Arthur's head snapped around to find the captain, praying for his safety. Though he found Alfred was fine, with his hand behind his back watching his subject with a smile. Alfred seemed to find humour is this and that make Arthur's stomach want to lurch. His gaze shifted back to the man who began tarring his way through bodies; his body crying for some unknown hurt. This is what they wanted wasn't it? A weapon who killed with no seconded though to it; something uncontrollable to slaughter all who got in the militaries way?

This is what they wanted wasn't it? Then why did it seem so wrong?

"I can change fate." Alfred's voice made him jump. He seemed so... amused. "This is my word and soon they will all know it."

Alfred couldn't help but start chuckling. No outskirter could stop him now, not now... not ever! His weapon was perfect, it was unfeeling and flawless! That familiar darkness bubbled up inside him again; it was so pleased with his thoughts. A smile began to turn his lips; yes... it was perfect.

No one could stop him now.

At least... so he thought.

Arthur watched silently; back against the wall. He couldn't believe Alfred found laughter at the sight before them. But, then Arthur noticed something...

The laugh had caught the weapon's ears, and he couldn't help but look for the sounds maker. A Blond man stood watching him silently and unmoving... unafraid. It made something inside him snap. The bloodthirsty man charged it was that man blond man's blood he wanted. He was in the way; he was the man with the power. He didn't know how he knew it... but he knew it was him. The captain wasn't threatened by him though; he simply just moved swiftly away and chuckled louder. The weapon stuck again but hit nothing.

"Alfred, you need to stop!" Another voice called into the weapon's ears, he wasn't sure what the other was saying but he found opportunity in his words. "This is ludicrous; everyone will die at this rate! Stop the trial, put that fucking thing away! "

"Be quite Arthur. I'm not finished here yet." The blood turned his gaze away from the weapon and the opportunity given was founnd.

The killer's hand collided into the side of the blonds face; slamming his lean body into the nearest wall. He wanted to kill him; he wanted the blond's blood, but he knew better. There was a chance to flee, for his feet to hit cement floors whit no awareness of where his feet are taking him. There was a chance... and he took it. His blood drenched body collided with the door, forcing the entrance open before he took off down the feet collided in swift movement to the floor below him; moving him far away from his small prison in an alarming speed. He ran with all his might and only for one reason.

He knew this feeling... But he didn't know why.

* * *

The hard surface burned and tingled at his bare feet and his naked flesh feel ill to a winds cold embrace. He couldn't stop his feet from thumping their way down the blank corridors. He couldn't stop the endless wonder of why; why was it he didn't understand his actions any longer? That bickering uneasiness burned through his body once more. He needed something, he needed to go somewhere... but he couldn't understand where it was his body was rushing him to run to. Something flared in his soul and it left a gut wrenching feel in his gut.

He knew this feeling... but he didn't know why.

The red ooze that hunted his blacked sleep layered his body; It itched and it dragged down his pail skin. He didn't like this feeling, it made his heart skip and flutter obnoxiously in his chest. He disliked this feeling but it was what he craved for wasn't it? He wanted to see the red copper water seeping from their body didn't he? He couldn`t see what he`s uneasiness was screaming at him; his mind, his being seem like such a blur. He couldn't question his actions for he didn`t even know what they were; so he continued to run.

He been running for a time that seemed endless, he was far away from the place he had started; from that room that chained and imprisoned him away. He was far away from anything that looked like life. At least if you could call that hollow woods a base form for life; it was bleak. There wasn't a sound to be heard in the green abyss he had found himself lost in, not even a sign of moving winds. There was no light in this forest, for the husky air seemed to block most of it out. You could half expect the flooring of this world to be sand, so dry nothing could grow. Why though? Why expect something enable to live on? Was it the over growing heat gnawing at his bare back? Or, was it the blanked skies that showed him no hope?

So pointless… such pointless thoughts, this world is as damned as he is.

It was tiring... This unbearable movement seemed endless. He watched as the light became faded and grow back to life in the slow duration of the days. The scenery around him was unchanging, it was endless forest and cliff sides. His body fell into a tree side; its ruff bark clawed into his back side but uncaringly he side his way down its trunk. His fingers eased in to matted stands of hair on his head. He couldn`t figure out his situation, what was it he was searching for? A snarl twisted from his lips, then fell cold to a sudden cold wind.

He didn't realize, but sometime during his immense hatred for the unknown, the world around him seemed wrong. The air in his lung breathed musky and the silence in the winds became haunting. The trees felt no sway to the winds any longer. Something... something had become terribly different and suddenly, he had no longer felt alone in this empty forest.

"Ahhh?" He froze; he hadn't realized how close this unknown figure had been to him. His head snapped towards the sounds of its higher pitched voice. Bit by bit this... what where these things called again? His eyes scanned over the person's figure. It defiantly wasn't built like he. It's body was slim, almost delicate looking and long auburn hair followed over its shoulders. There was a word for this human. Why couldn't he remember it? "Oh my; are you okay? You look awfully beat up, would you like some help?" The human wandered closer to him. It seemed... beautiful, it was so different than him, it was so human. He grew uneasy as it drew closer to him, and he felt almost repelled when it gave a smile before setting it's basket of food down. Then he saw them; those large lumps of flesh on its chest... It defiantly wasn't the same as he. "I could take you home and give you some medical assistance if you..."

He couldn't help himself. He just simply didn't understand what these bulges of flesh were, so not listening to this things speech his hands reached out. Interesting, they were squishy. So what exactly do they do? The hand he had around its skin squeezed harder.

"What the hell are you doing!" Sudden sensation tingled across his head; the sensation burned in a way. His hand slowly let go of the curious flabs of skin to drift across his skull. "You bloody fucking pervert! You'll pay for that!" Whatever the human had hit him with swung at him again and slowly he moved his head out of its way. This human's actions were so questionable, what was this thing fuming about exactly? "I'll kill you I swear to-"

"Elizaveta that's enough."

The new sounds shocked him; he hadn't felt their presence enter in his area. Slowly his head cocked to the side, staring at the human brunet in wonder; for she too, had frozen at the sound the unknown 'It's' voice.

"Return to camp, Elizaveta. It is unsafe out at this moment... the military is hunting around like a pack of wild animals."

He watched as a gray hatred glossed over the auburn human's eyes. Slowly it bent to reach for the things it hand placed down before it became angered with him.

"What about him?" The human pushed it's brown hair from is eyes as it stood; glaring down at him as she did so. "Are we leaving him here to die?"

Silence grew in the area around them and for a moment he believed that the other 'It' had left.

"No... He's coming with us."

"Why?"

"Because… he has something that the military wants," For the first time, he heard a sound like the flashing lights in his dream, except something in the sound has shot into his skin. It burned... then it numbed... then not but moments later, darkness began to sweep back into his sight. "So if they want him... than so do I."

His darkness seems so sweetly comforting, it seemed drowsy and enchanting. But; in the end, it still did the same thing to him that all the other darkness's had done... it had lost him in the abyss too.

* * *

"Ahhh, where did you find this one?" The man's black hair swayed above his glasses; itching his nose with every sweep.

"Pft; I don't care where I found him... I would have preferred the leaved the damned pervert there!" The woman hands angrily crunched into the basked she carried. The bastard dared to grab her breasts and expected to live? The anger bubbled of his skin and her hatred craved into his unconscious back. Oh; he was going to pay for it. "I'll ring his fucking neck if he ever-"

"Elizaveta..." The brunette froze at the clod voice behind her. She knew better than to cause havoc with the assassin who carried in the man who was well over double her weight and height. A sigh crossed her lips as she checked over the young blond girl; She was injured again.

"Forgive me Natalia; it just bothers me knowing this man is in our home. What if he's in the military, what if we just lead them right to our front door? What if he's some psychopath who'll kill us while we're sleeping? What if he harms the children Natalia?" A pained expression crossed Elizaveta's face. She was so unsure of this man; so unsure... all she could do was feel hate and resentment towards him. He was a sick bastard for all she cared! he didn't have right to be there; he was putting every one's life in danger! "I mean I found him in the forest, half dead, and naked. How do we know anything about him? What if h-"

"What if he's our ticket out of this mess?" Elizaveta slowly turned to look at the woman behind her. Natalia's eyes stared blankly down at her and his long blond hair swayed with the breeze. She was so frightening; Elizaveta wasn't even sure how to act around the assassin sometimes. "Never ask what if... it'll lead to your death." A dark smile crossed Natalia's lips, forcing the shiver to run down Elizaveta's spine. "Tell the boss what you found, I'm sure he'll be more than interested." Without another word she left.

"How frightful."

A hard growl pressed Elizaveta's lips. "Who does she think she is?"

"Now, now Elizaveta. She means well."

"Humf! Not well enough I say; she's rude and scary and she doesn't even tall you she's there she just pops in and scares the shit out of you! I mean, she doesn't even have the decency to let me finish my sentences!" Elizaveta's voice hummed with anger. Why was it the blond woman was the way she was? When they had found her she was practically dead; there was barley even a heartbeat in her chest! So Elizaveta had taken her in; the outskirter's had saved her life and for what? If it wasn't for Elizaveta that dumb blond would be dead...

The black haired male's chuckles had brought her from thought. "What's so funny, Roderich?"

"You are, my dear." Slowly he pulled Elizaveta into an embrace. His hand shuffled into her hair and he kissed her forehead. "You worry so much about Natalia and yet, you still act like it's not a bother."

Elizaveta's face pulled into a frown and tears stung her eyes. She had been looking after Natalia for seven years now; it had taken her a year and a half to recover from that near death experience. It worried her to see Natalia wounded because all she could see was that 'what if'? It had happened once before; seven years ago, when the splitting of the world began to worsen and after the worst thing that could happen to her happened... she had found Natalia. Her arms tightened around Roderich; she didn't want to lose Natalia like she had lost everything else.

"Ehhh? The new male voice made his skin jump at the sudden noise, but she knew who it was and he didn't frighten her. A smile crossed her lips and she turned to face him. "Elizaveta what's the matter?"

"Nothing, I was just remembering." Her hand whipped hastily across her watering eyes. "Forgive me."

A bright smile crossed his face as he slightly laughed at her stubbornness. "I see nothing to forgive Elizaveta. You are human, you feel, you remember... we all cry from time to time." Her hands fell from her eyes and she stared at him in a slight wonder.

"Do you cry of loss, our leader?" She couldn't help the sad smile from crossing her face. "Do you miss them... Do you miss your brother, Matthew?"


	3. Chapter 3

Her body shakes before me, pinned between wall and man. That salty wetness if running down her face; she is frightened of me...

Fright, I know that word. It's like something eating you from the inside out and you can't run away from it. It's like something is hunting you down and you have no chance at life anymore. It makes you want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. It's the emotion you feel when you let the darkness eat you alive.

"Please..." My heart skips at beat at her plea. "Please, stop. I can't stand the thought of losing you; please quit! Don't be a part of that evil place anymore!" It burns within me; this... fright. But it's different than hers, mine is angry. It burns with fire in my lung and clings my fist into a tight ball.

My body tingles as my fist meets the wall beside her. She jumps from the sight; it causes her breath to catch and her tears all harder. My fist broke through the drywall like it was as thin as paper; it should be frightening, I didn't blame her. My skin quivers in dark fear as I watch her. She knows no bounds; she fears but doesn't back down. I knew that all too well. "I won't quit..." I feel lost at the sound of my voice... it was so cold. I don't know this sound... not this person speaking through my lips. He is a dark and lost man... is this what I was? Even as a human was I lost? Even as a human, in a way, I really wasn't.

My face scrunched together as I pulled my hand free of the wall. Slowly it touches her face... How I wished I knew who she was, this person who haunts my dreams. Her hands slap my fingers from her face. She no longer looked in pain, but she seemed enraged. "You're such a fucking asshole! Why won't you leave?" Her hand collided with my chest, thumping them in all her anger against me. "How can you do what you're doing to people and not care?" She pushes and shoves at me; screaming for me to leave her sight. I couldn't help but grab her wrist; she was hurting herself, and I couldn't let her do that to herself. It seemed so wrong.

But what I did next... seemed that much worse.

"Don't act like you fucking know what I do." My grip on her wrists tightens as I lift her small figure off the floor below her. She screamed at the popping feeling coming from her shoulders and the snapping coming from her wrists. I slammed her against the floor just as quickly as I had lifted her from it; she had crumpled against it and cried out in all her pain, pulling all her broken and injured part as close to her as she could. I saw so much hate in her eyes and I hated it.

"I hate you... I fucking hate you!" She crawled her way back to the wall; she needed it solid support... a support I knew I couldn't give her. Why won't you leave me? Why do you stay; my life has been stained by war and hatred... stained so much that I turn it upon you. Why won't you leave all the horrible things I leave here for you? I give you a life of lies! Why do you fucking stay; I hate you for loving me! I have no right to love... I look away. I'm anger. I hate this life so much but I love this pain because it makes me feel alive again. How horrible... I left her alone and trying her hardest not to cry. How horrible…

I close the door behind me, so softly. Why couldn't I be soft to her; why the hard exterior? Why hide the pain I felt for her? My backside met the door behind me; I could hear her starting to cry. She tried to hide it; she was trying to be strong for me. I don't deserve it; I laid my hands upon her and with them I stained her skin the colors of black and blue. Emotions bubble within my stomach; it curls my toes and crunches my first... it forces my knees to meet my chest. A growl rumbles my throat as water blurs my vision. What was wrong with me? It hurts to see the thing I do to that person.

I don't want to see this again. I don't want to see her hurt face.

Everything in my mind is so messed, nothing is right anymore. I can't remember the look of her happy face; I can't remember when life was normal. I... I can't remember a lot of things anymore. I can't remember what the name of this woman, who I hurt so much for, is. Can't remember what my own face even looks like. Life is blank; it is bleak and unredeemable. I'm a horrible thing in existence... I'm like fire.

Fire?

I could see it; as I kneel in the damp grass, covered in red ooze. I could see it eat away at my house... at her still breathing body.

The air in my lung hurts; it hurts to take another breath and I can't understand. What's happening? What is this fire? Why am I seeing this person unmoving? I don't understand why she won't get up and run! I don't understand the painful emotions that are holding back my breath.

His body shot up, crying out for the air he felt he couldn't breathe. It huffed from his lips anxiously and clawed his dry throat. He could feel that wetness running down his face again and he could feel that humming run through his skin. His hands dashed across his face in wonder of things he didn't understand. Why was there so many thing wrong?

"Are you alright?" It's gone... all those feelings are gone; such relief flushes over his body at the song of this other human's voice. " Elizaveta tells me she found you out in the forest. Where you running from something?" I don't understand this 'things' words. It's useless noise to my ears. A wonder drags into its eyes as he scans over me. I had been doing the same; this one looked different from the other humans he saw; nothing like that evil blond man. True he was blond himself but something about him was completely deferent. There was no darkness around this human. " Elizaveta... come here!"

"What is it now Matt?" The other human; the one who is unlike him, strolls into the room and stares. It seemed different from when he had first saw the 'different' it.

"Was he speaking when you first found him?"

"Nope, not a single word." The other person's eyes turn hard on him. "He was too busy putting his gross hands on me; the pervert!"

"No... Actually I don't think he can." The human's blue eyes scanned over him again, and then it smiled. "More so... I'm not too sure if he understands what anything is."

"What? Matthew that's absurd!"

"Heeeelloo!" The humans hand pushed against its own chest. "I'm Matthew. Mat-thew..." The weapon's head arched to side, it questioned the human's actions. "Man," Man? He knew that word. It was what the weapon himself had once been. The man's hand slowly began to move again and the weapon continued to watch. It stopped to point at the other human, the one different from this word 'man'. " Elizaveta... Eliz-a-vet-a. Woman." The weapon's head turned back to look at the man's face. Woman? Oh yes, how had he forgotten? Women are so much more different than men, surly it wasn't a hard thing to remember. How had he lost that thought? If he had lost that... then what else had he lost? "Understand?"

The weapon watched this Matthew with wonder. Did he understand? Not exactly but a slight nod came in response. Matthew chuckled at him, ruffling his hand through the weapon's hair as he did so. This 'Matthews' actions confused him and made him feel strange. It was an odd gesture. A small sigh filtered through the room. It came from the Elizaveta, she seemed so upset. Something wrenched in his gut. He didn't like thinking someone was feeling the same thing that woman from his dreams had. It caused panic in his body.

"What is it Elizaveta?" Matthew's voice reach out to the woman in a way the weapon couldn't and the sudden panic disappeared.

"Nothing, I'm just glad he's fine I guess." A sweet smile passed her lips before she left the room.

"Don't mind her." Matthew pushed himself into a stand and followed suit towards the door. "She just worries a lot.

It wasn't long before they began to teach him their ways; and bit by bit he learned the unknown thing of their world, like langue and ways to expressing one's self. But, having the langue in his mind was like having words without pictures. Sometimes he still had trouble understanding what they spoke about but most of the time he got it.

From what he'd learned over the past few months is that they are very secretive people; hiding away from a world who would rather have them dead. Matthew had told him that there was a great depute where the world eventually destroyed itself because of its contestant wars and in this destruction of itself the military assumed control of the government. Being in the military was a must and if you tried to get away you were to be killed for it. Matthew had explained that they were these people trying to run for their lives, trying to live life for themselves. He had asked why everyone had left and Matthew only said that everyone had their reasons.

Everyone had stories… even him; though he didn't know his. He wanted to know He wanted to know everything about this place and these people; he wanted to know if his story somehow connected with theirs.

He looked around the small run down building in wonder. It was dark outside already but only few slept. There were certain people that the others called 'outland assassins'. They spent their days on watch; killing any of military personnel who got to close and made them disappear. It was an interesting subject to him; mostly because he still didn't understand what 'killing' was, sometimes when he thought about killing, that thought of that woman would pass through his mind.

His hand shuffled through his hair as he left the warmth of the indoors. The sight outside was wondrous. The vast green forestry; he was told, was one of the only ones left in the world and the rest of the world was withering away in sand and thick smoke.

"What are you doing?" Pressure built in his chest at the sudden sound. He hadn't noticed the presence of another person. Slowly he turned to look back the blond woman who was watching him carefully. Her cloths were tattered and torn but she never seemed to care, but she was also heavily armed; with guns strapped to her thighs and thrown over her shoulders, she even had knives on each hip. He wondered if she ever slept. "You going to answer me or just stare like a fool?"

"I… do not understand."

"Of course, okay, let me rephrase that. Why are you out here?" Natalia shuffled a small angry sigh. "You should be inside; it could be dangerous out here."

"I am thinking."

"Thinking?" A laugh huffed from her lips as she leaned over the balcony railing. "What for? It's not like you understand much about anything going on…"

"I think because I do not understand. I wish to know these things that I do not…get. I want to know the stories and the history of everyone. I wish to know their reasons for being here." The air around them fell eerily silent. He turned to look at her at that moment, and found hatred upon her face.

"Trust me; there are some stories you don't want to know. Most of the stories here are nothing but grief filled, there is nothing good about them…"

"Like yours?" Her eyes turned hard on him, like ice they showed only at cold hatred. She turned so suddenly that he didn't have time to understand why she becomes so angry. She paced quickly away from him as she could. But, once she reached the edge of darkness and slowly she drew herself to a halt, turning her head to look back at him. There was pure hatred in the soul of her eyes.

"Yes… Like mine." She turned back to the darkness and stood in silence. A sick laugh shook her shoulders and she let herself continue into the dark. "But not even mine… is as sick as yours."

"Mine?" His heart began to pound within his chest and for a moment he couldn't understand of what she spoke of. "Natalia what do you mean? What of my story?" He couldn't stop himself; he began to follow the laughing woman in a hysteric panic. What did she mean? Did she really know of his story? Was it really so horrible that-

A pair of hands wrapped around his biceps, forcing him to a standstill. His skin trembled and his mind drew blanks on words. All he couldn't hear was the muffled "Hey," shouting at him over the pounding of his heart. Then a quick shake brought him to his senses. "Hey!" Slowly the weapon looked to see Matthew staring at him in worry. "What's going on, are you okay?" The air in his lungs came out in dry huffs and he couldn't find the words to speak. "Calm down…"

A smile passed Matthew's lips and he brushed his hand against the side of the weapon's face. Slowly he let all his anxiety pass out in one last deep breath. "Forgive me…"

The smaller blond boy laughed and through an arms over his shoulder, drawing the other man inside. "There is nothing to forgive. Now tell me what's going on, why are you so distraught?"

"Natalia…"

"Natalia?" Matt gave another hearty laugh and pushed the other man into a seat. "Of course it was her that would say something to make you go bonkers. One sec I'll go get you something to drink, what do you want? Tea, Milk… alcohol?" Matthew stopped, seeing the questioning look on his face. "Or not… I guess you don't really need a drink do you? Actually I don't think I've ever seen you drink anything."

A helpless smile past his lips at Matt's sudden ranting. "I do not think I have seen you speak so much."

"Oh… well I guess I can be quite at times." He suddenly glanced at Matthew with an amusing look upon his face making him chuckle at the odd look. "Okay I'm quite a lot."

"Matthew do you have a sad story?"

"What?"

"Your story, is it sad?"

"I wouldn't say it was sad; it was just…" He slowly became silenced at the thought and like Natalia something dark passed through his eyes. "Eye opening to what the world is really like. Why do you want to know?"

"Natalia told me that everyone who lives here has a sad story… is it true, does-"

"Not everyone feels that their life was a sad one, they have found a way to see the good in it." Matthew let his body lean back against the wall behind him. A sad smile past his lips as he stared at the floor below him; its once white carpet, stained with dirt and blood.

"But Natalia-"

"Natalia is only person here who hasn't seen any good. Her life was, well …from the way she acts, was one that has no good in it." Matt ran a hand through his blond locks before looking back at him. "Is it her life she had told you about that had you so upset?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"She told me she knew of mine…" The unspoken silence greeted him there and the once talking Matthew returned to his quite state. "How is it she knows of what I do not?" He pushed himself to a hasty stand. He didn't know what to think of what she said. A heat bubbled in his insides as he stalked towards the man leaning against the wall. He wanted answers, he wanted to know why he had those nightmares, and he wanted to know who that woman was! "I do not understand!" His hands slammed against the wall at either side of Matthew, with such force the drywall crumpled at his touch.

Matthew watched him without care on his face, like he expected the sudden rage to consume him. A sigh puffed from Matt's lungs as he placed a hand against the other man's chest. "The one thing you'll learn about this world is that no one understands."

For a moment everything about this situation reminded him of his nightmares and his heart dropped. His hands slipped from the wall behind him and back away. He looked away at the sight he created; he didn't want to see those tainted dreams, especially when he wasn't even dreaming.

"Don't worry yourself anymore. It's could be a good thing you no longer remember what happened in your past." Smiling sadly at the other man Matt pulled his face back to look at him. "Sometimes it better to forget rather than regret."

When he looked down at Matthew there was a sudden realisation on how close to each other they really were. He could feel the heal blooming off his body and the feel of his breath against his skin. Something in the air around them changed at that moment but he didn't understand what exactly became so different.


End file.
